Envy
by IDOLS
Summary: "Rin always had someone who admired him. No one really admired Nitori." (an x reader fanfic - onesided!nitori x reader - rin x reader)


I thought I'd might as well upload all my xReaders here! I usually post all my xReaders on my deviantart (which you can find at my profile)! I only post xReaders there so! If you enjoy them, look there! Thanks for reading!

. . . . .

Rin Matsuoka. He was one of Nitori's good friends- or at least that's what he considered him to be. Not only that, but he was his classmate and roommate. No matter where he went, they'd always see each other somehow. Usually Nitori was happy for this! He honestly cared for Rin and wanted to make sure if he was alright, considering that he always wore that scowl on his face. But lately, that all turned around when a girl showed up in his life- an ugly emotion gradually bubbled up inside him. He found it almost impossible to shake it away. Just because of one simple high school girl. (Y/n).

Okay, you might just get it all wrong-

"Nitori, are you jealous because someone took Rin away from you?"

No, it was actually quite the opposite. Rin always had someone who admired him. No one really admired Nitori. After school, Nitori always spotted some group of girls at the school gate, giggling and getting all giddy to see Rin.

"Ahh! It's Matsuoka-kun!" They would squeal. "He's so handsome," one would say. "I wish he was my boyfriend!" the other laughed. They all swooned when he passed by, exiting the all-boys school. Rin looked charming, even Nitori had to admit that. His hair, tied up or not- looked good. His muscles were nicely defined, eyes piercing sharp. His teeth- well Nitori didn't really know what to say but, it was cool. Girls found it cool too apparently. He was good at swimming as well- one of the best. That just added to his charm. His edgy personality seemed to be a plus too.

But one day, Rin suddenly looked...happier. That scowl on his face disappeared when he was talking on the phone, when he was waiting outside at school (as if waiting for someone,) and would only reappear during the swim meets as usual. Nitori honestly didn't know what was going on. He would ask;

"Rin, what's gotten into you?"

"What do you mean?" would be his answer.

"You seem happier."

"Are you saying the other days I don't look happy?" Rin rubbed the back of his neck and would turn away. "It's nothing."

It wasn't really nothing into he came back into the dorm with a girl. A cute girl. A really _really_ cute girl. At this moment, that ugly emotion was only a tiny kindle of fire in him. But, nothing more. He tried to brush it off.

"Who's this?" inquired Nitori, pointing at the girl. She looked at him in surprised and quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry for intruding!" She bowed. Nitori stared at her (h/c) hair. It looked soft. She raised herself back up and began to introduce herself.

"I'm (L/n) (Y/n). Just call me (Y/n)! I-I'm a-also…" she began to stutter, arms drawn in front of her and fingers intertwined.

"She's my girlfriend." Rin answered. Nitori looked up at him in surprise. He hadn't had one in a while! Not after dating a girl named Lisa back in America (Rin told him stories).

"Pardon for my impoliteness!" (y/n) said nervously. Nitori only laughed and gave her a kind smile.

"It's not a problem, you weren't impolite at all!" he remarked. "It's nice to meet you, (y/n)! I'm Aiichiro Nitori! I hope we could get to know each other better!" She returned his smile with one of her own- one that was beautiful and that definitely outshone his. How good could Rin score with girls?

"Thank you!" She said. Apparently really good. Rin patted her head and Nitori quickly walked away. He pretended to clean the room. He really just wanted to avert his eyes away from them so they wouldn't feel awkward when they were doing any affectionate actions.

"D-Do you need help?" that sweet voice would ask. As Nitori turned around, Rin bumped his fist on her head, lightly.

"You don't offer to help clean someone's room. Especially one you just met." He smirked at her. She playfully stuck her tongue out a bit between her lips. _How cute._

"Thanks for asking," chuckled Nitori. "But don't worry about it! It's not much of a mess. I can handle it." She answered with a soft, 'Ok!' and left him with it. After that, they left and Nitori heaved a big sigh. Rin was really lucky.

Months passed and (y/n) and Nitori really did get to know each other better. Nitori's feelings getting stronger and stronger by the day. He didn't really know when he acknowledged that he was actually in love with her. They exchanged numbers and even hung out a bit-of course mostly with Rin coming along. The only time he didn't when he needed to do something important or (y/n) need advice from Nitori (about Rin obviously. Things like: "What does he like?" or "Do you think he would accept homemade chocolate?"). On the topic of advice, whenever the two would argue or fight, Rin would leave the dorm for the whole day- somehow finding a place to stay. (Y/n) knew this so she would come in and vent to Nitori. He hated seeing how hurt she was- and he didn't like seeing his own best friend getting hurt either. Nitori tried his best to help the both of them with their problems, but it seemed like he helped (y/n) some more.

A knock would softly erupt in the dorm room and Nitori would open the door.

"N-Nitori…" (Y/n)'s voice would waver, while her head was facing down, hands rubbing her eyes.

"(Y/n)?!" Nitori looked at her in shock, a pained expression soon showing up on his face. "Come in." Closing the door, Nitori motioned her to come sit beside him on the bottom bed of the bunk. Unfortunately that bed was Rin's so she sat on the desk chair in front of him instead. "What's wrong?" He would ask softly.

"I-It's just...R-Rin…" Her voice slightly cracked when she said Rin's name. Nitori watched as she tried to stifle back a sob. She bit her lip, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. Nitori felt bad for thinking how (y/n) still looked cute when she was crying.

"Rin again, huh?" he sighed. Nitori kneeled in front of her and brushed loose strands of her hair away from her face.

"Tell me what happened."

Once he said those words, (y/n) bursted into tears and started rambling on about how she accidentally mistook Rin for cheating on her. She saw how he was hanging around with a girl she didn't know a lot more recently. She was actually a cousin and (y/n) kept accusing him for being unfaithful, when in fact he shot back with a: "are you sure you aren't the one that's unfaithful?!". The argue escalated from there and more screaming and shouting occurred. She hated screaming. Especially being screamed at.

"Shhh," Nitori said gently. He took his arms and lifted them up to wrap them around her. He paused suddenly, waiting for consent. She nodded and he embraced her into his arms. "It's okay," he muttered into her ear. She sniffled.

"I-Is it really?" she asked, voice trembling. Nitori suddenly felt an urge to protect her.

"It is! I may not be the best at advice, but you know that Rin loves you more than anything. Would he really give such a fight if he didn't care so much about you?" Nitori sighed and let her go. "You know sometimes you're the only thing he talks about?" (Y/n)'s eyes glistened. She shook her head. "He talks about how cute you are, intelligent and kind." Nitori took this chance to tell her a bit how he felt towards her. "and you _are_ cute, and you _are_ kind and intelligent. You are what makes his life-" _(my life)_ "-happy and bright. You are the one that makes him-" _(me)_ "-smile. He _really_ loves you." _(I really love you)_. (Y/n) rewarded Nitori with a beautiful smile.

"Thank you" she said. "You're really kind too, you know that?" Bowing her head, she quickly hugged and him and stood up. "I'm going to try and to apologize- or something." Nitori nodded, giving her a thumbs up.

"You do that!" he grinned. "Good luck!" She laughed a bit.

"Alright! I can do it!" She ran out the door. Nitori sighed once again and put his hand on his forehead. He didn't realize that he was really warm. From blushing, probably. She did hug him out of nowhere. He thought how lucky Rin was. How lucky he was to have such an amazing, kind and loving girl like her. He was really jealous. Envious.

More months passed and his feelings still only grew stronger. Nitori knew long ago it was hopeless. He couldn't win her over. Even when she visited him when he was sick and tried her to best to take care of him, he was still no match to Rin. I mean, Nitori thought of himself as a very useless person compared to Rin. His hair didn't look good like Rin's, his eyes weren't as sharp and powerful like Rin's, and he wasn't the best swimmer like Rin either. What was he compared to Rin? Nitori thought of it like comparing a potato to beautiful crimson red apple. Who would want a deformed looking potato? (Y/n) still danced in his head everyday. Her voice echoing in his head.

"Nitori, merry christmas!" she would say during the season of winter. Her hair let loose, decorated with a cute accessory while wearing a sweater over a skirt and tights. Oh, how those skirt and tights looked good on her. How she even bothered to get you a gift. How she bothered to make a cake for you on your birthday. Why was she so kind to you? Why was she such an angel?

Soon, Nitori realized it had been their time of graduation and (Y/n) came to the ceremony with a beautiful dress. She was really happy for Rin and she did her best to hold back those happy tears. Nitori watched as she made a really concentrated face with a few tears in her eyes. He let out a soft chuckle, but realized so did Rin. He was also watching her- just like how Nitori was watching her. Soon after the ceremony, (y/n) ran into his arms and kissed him. Had they have no restraint in public affection? (Y/n) soon ran up to Nitori and gave him that exact sweet smile she has given him when they first met.

"Congrats, Ni-chan!" (She developed a nickname for him. She thought it sounded good with a "-chan").

"Thank you!" he would answer. Rin came over to congratulate him as well and Nitori did the same. They were still very good friends. Rin never knew how Nitori felt towards (y/n). And Nitori planned on not having him ever know.

Later on that day, Rin hung out with (y/n) but later hung out with Nitori and the other guys at night. (Y/n) was still in school, and she had one more year of high school education ahead of her. So she had to get home and get some rest. The swim team hung out at a restaurant, some dare drank alcohol and others ate quite a bit.

"Hey." Rin would say, sitting beside Nitori.

"Hey!" Nitori would answer brightly.

"You know, time passes by really fast." Nitori looked back at all the memories he had with Rin.

"Yeah." he chuckled. "Really fast."

"And…" Rin stared. "You are a good friend." Nitori stared at him, his eyes welling up with tears. Now that he has given it more thought, him and Rin were actually done high school, and they were going to their separate ways!

"You are a good friend too!" he yelled. "The greatest friend! The best!" Rin gave him a bittersweet grin.

"We'll see each other. Obviously." Nitori could only nod, afraid that if he would speak, a sob would come out. "And we'll see each other a lot probably."

"What do you mean?" wondered Nitori, voice wavering.

"Well I-" He coughed and looked away. "I plan on asking (y/n) to marry me." These words pierced right through Nitori's heart, shattering it. Nitori knew he didn't have a chance against Rin to win (y/n) over, but every hope in his heart- died. Any hope and dream he had to hold hands with a girl like her, spend time with her, and even kiss her- was gone. Dead. He froze.

"I-I-What?!" Nitori remarked in shock. Rin turned around and grinned again. "But aren't you too young to be married now?!" Nitori never knew Rin was the type to think of such...plans at his age. But then again, (y/n) and him were together for quite a few years.

"I'm only sealing the deal," Rin answered. "I'm going to at least get us engaged. I can't...afford to lose her." Nitori tried not to make a pained expression.

"Can you afford a ring?" Nitori half (trying to) joked, half-serious.

"I'm not proposing to her, like, tomorrow or something! Maybe in another year?" Nitori never knew how soft Rin could act. Where did that scowl go? That super edgy personality?

"Ah, I see." Nitori tried to force a smile. Rin was planning to marry the girl he loves. Shouldn't he be happy? What was with this pained feeling in his chest? This overwhelming envy?

"Hey!" shouted one of the swim team mates. "Did Rin just say 'PROPOSE'?" They all yelped in surprise and jumped in front of Nitori to chat with Rin. Rin's scowl returned and he looked away as they bombarded him with questions.

"Who's the lucky girl?!"

"Is she hot?! How come I've never seen her?"

"Make me your best man!"

They all laughed and were so filled with happiness. Nitori wondered why couldn't he be filled with happiness on the day of his graduation? He felt jealous of them as well. Regrettably, he could only think of that one girl- (y/n).

 _Oh, how she made my heart thump so quickly. How she would always rub her chin when she was confused. How she loved to laugh and help everyone out. How her eyes sparkled when she talked about something she liked or love. Her (h/c) flowing in the wind, her plump lips always seeming to be in an upwards curve, long eyelashes shielding her (e/c) eyes. She's beautiful, and I want her to be mine. But now I…_

Nitori couldn't help it. He was a huge softie as well. He ran to the bathroom, and cried. Nitori thought about how useless and pathetic he was. Why didn't he do anything to grab her attention long ago? Maybe by then, she would be in his arms again. He had to somehow throw away- destroy his love for (y/n). But he didn't know how quite to do it.

. . . . .

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to comment! Especially _you_ lurkers/ghosters!


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